Sex life for Christians is one of the most debated, especially in the current age. Sexual awareness has been existent from the time immemorial since it is natural to the human mind. However, today sex and intimacy is overly stimulated by sex-saturated entertainment and news media. Apart from blatantly displaying the sexual content, objects have also been labelled as sexy. These include items such as beverages and computers to body lotions. These issues have widely affected the sex life of married Christians and the way they treat sexuality. However, to put the issues that relate to married Christians sex life into perspective, we need to understand God’s purpose of marriage and sex.
Christians everywhere on the globe understands and agrees with the fact that they are in a kind of sexual wilderness era. There is a lack of the right guidelines and directions. The situation has resulted in dire costs in the society such as health crises, financial losses, family breakups and lack of sexual happiness and fulfilment. Few people have little to no knowledge about the significance of sex (Witherington, 2012). Many believe that it is an evolutionary accident. Therefore they have an assumption that anything goes so long as it happens between two consenting adults. But this assumption is, and it avoids addressing the question of where marriage and sex originated from.
There different purposes as to why God created sex and marriage. The first purpose is the most obvious which is for the reproduction and procreation of the human species. From the biblical scriptures, the first reference of sexuality is that God created human beings both male and female (Mohler, 2014). He also blessed them and told them to be fruitful on the land. That means that God intended the sexual relationship to be part of his creative process. Secondly, sex was meant to show love in marriage. It is clearly understood that only human beings have sexual interest even when the female is not in the conception period. It shows that human beings can make love as a way of showing intimacy in marriage other than just reproduction.
The sex life among the Christians is meant to express love to their spouses. Sexual relationship is a gift that God gave to human beings so that it can unite the husband and the wife. However, just like any other gift, this gift can be misused. Some people can misuse sex where they become unfaithful to their spouses (Pourakbaran & Amin Yazdi, 2015). Extramarital sex can be seen as normal some in societies, but the Christians are not supposed to engage in the act. Christians call it a sin, and it was punishable through death in the Old Testament. God’s high value for marriage means that human beings are supposed to treasure and commit to it. Christians are required to continually improve their marriage and cultivate timeless and deep love to avoid such temptations as extramarital sex.
Apart from God’s intended and primary purposes of sex among Christians, other issues emerge most of which are selfish interests among the spouses. Some of these include the common practice among males to manipulate women to get sexual favors. Women also manipulate men so that they can get other favors in return. Sadly, the method can also be found among some married Christians (Hall, 2014). When such selfish interests or attitudes occur in marriage, one or both spouses use sex to obtain something. This attitude deviates from the original purpose of sex which was supposed to give and express genuine love. True love as God designed it is an act of freely giving. In Christian marriage, pure love is an act of being eager to help, please and encourage.
Sexuality in the Christian life was created by God to be a powerful force. God created it to be a tool for powerful bonding between the married couples. Making love releases vital hormones such as oxytocin which enhances bonding and dopamine which is a “feel good hormone.” Married Christians who have regular intimacy experience great bonding with one another. God created intimacy so that the husband and the wife could find pleasure in one another. Unfortunately, the powerful force behind intimacy can be inverted to bring negative consequences in marriage (Pollmann‐Schult, 2014). Sexual issues in many marriages are the primary causes of breakups. When a couple does not devote their effort to commit to one another, it always brings a problem in their marriage life. It can be understood that there are seasons when sex cannot be a priority. For example when a woman is going through cancer treatment or has delivered after going through difficulties in pregnancy. However, most of the couples who do not commit to sexual intimacy do so due to reasons such as usual busyness or just because they do not see it as a priority.
As a way to overcome the intimacy barriers among married Christians, one has to understand that building a successful and thriving sex life requires effort. Struggling is a normal thing when it comes to sex due to the nature of our fallen world. Christians also have to recognize that things do not always work the way they were intended to be because of the imperfection in human nature (Hall, 2014). Therefore, it is essential that people expect challenges and difficulties in their sex life which means that they will always find solutions when these difficulties arise (Montemurro, Bartasavich & Wintermute, 2015). Instead of having a high expectation of a comfortable life after marriage, Christians should be prepared for difficulties so that they can address them when they inevitably arise. When people recognize these facts, their sex life will be exceedingly easy, and they won’t be surprised by everyday challenges.
In conclusion, married Christians like anyone else experience challenges and issues in their sex life. These issues are usual in any couples life. Every couple has different problems when it comes to love life. However, Christians should not be troubled by some of these challenges because they understand the primary purpose of their marriage. They should seek God’s guidance in their love life so that He can help them to continue committing to each other even in the time of difficulties. Another advantage with the Christians is that they already know the secret to building a strong marriage bond which is by first recognizing God as the driver of their life and seeking for His guidance in marriage through prayer.
References
Hall, L. A. (2014). Outspoken women: An anthology of women’s writing on sex, 1870–1969. Routledge.
Montemurro, B., Bartasavich, J., & Wintermute, L. (2015). Let’s (not) talk about sex: The gender of sexual discourse. Sexuality & Culture, 19(1), 139-156.
Mohler, R. A. (2014). Can Christians Use Birth Control?.
Pourakbaran, E., & Amin Yazdi, S. A. (2015). A study of sexual functioning and marital satisfaction in women with and without history of labor. Journal of Fundamentals of Mental Health, 17(4), 202-208.
Pollmann‐Schult, M. (2014). Parenthood and life satisfaction: Why don’t children make people happy?. Journal of Marriage and Family, 76(2), 319-336.
Witherington, B. (2012). The rest of life: Rest, play, eating, studying, sex from a kingdom perspective. Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing.
